Under construction (Barton)

"Ya know........"


His voice was low and yet soft, though it echoed within the dimply lit area.

Barton leaned over squatted down and ran his right hand over the cold damp ground... He brought his elbows to his knees and rested his elbows upon them as he looked away from the fire. Barton then slowly turned his gaze to Xavier.....

"I'm not gonna lie, Lord n' all knows you'd know.. Ain't gonna pretend to be no strong man, it's frightening... But I suppose there are lotta things I should be afraid of. But you just gotta knuckle up, right? I'm not even sure where to start Xavier, Sir.... I do not remember fire being so cold, the night bein' so much colder... Can fire be so cold to be near? Can one feel so... Helpless yet free. Weak yet strong.. Scared yet brave... Am I being foolish? So many things.... Ya know?"

Barton could not stand to look at the inferno a few feet from him and he leaned back further away from it.

"Strength.... That is something I question at times, Sir. I've seen men buckle in arm wrestlin' matches in the bars I been in. I seen men who claimed to be too strong to cry, shed a tear when a song came on the jukebox... You know that reminded them of their momma... I have seen great strength also, in people you would not expect it.. But these things are petty, things a...."


Barton paused and shook his head with a slight scornful chuckle,

"Human might consider strength, but now that I am here... Strength takes on a whole new meaning. Primal. I learned a lot from animals. You know I could see it, but not feel it. But now...."



Barton looked up and then back over to Xavier and replied,

"I think I understand and any other time... Your words would have confused me if I had not.... Well went through this change.. Honestly, Sir they still do. But I am beginning to understand. Survival. That's the name of the game ain't it? What was it like for you Sir? When you changed? Did you learn all'a these things on ya own? "


Barton spoke with reverence, almost like he was talking to his old man and finished with,

"How'd you make it? How'd you find strength, Sir?"

Barton shielded his face rising up staggering back as the shards of stone struck his weaker frame. Barton cringed slightly and squinted his eyes as he felt the ground and walls shake. As the dust settled Barton lowered his arm from his face and let it hang by his side. Shard of rock rested over his shoulders and Barton's eyes went wide. Barton narrowed his eyes took a step forward gaining his ground back.

"What good are the muscles and body without the mind... Right...."


Barton's voice trembled slightly but grew stronger with each word. Barton knew the answer was deeper and he felt that what Xavier said was true deep down. But he had questioned himself. Barton lowered his head a moment and replied,


"Thank you, Sir. I never shoulda doubted what I knew, nor second guessed a word said by my Sire... Be strong in mind, be aware.. If I question my courage and let my mind fall prey to fear... When I doubt myself.. I too will be but these bits of rock, only a part'a what I once was."


As the cloud of dust cleared, Barton saw some shapes appear. One leading to a large dark alley.. Barton stepped closer, though he was shaken he continued.. To acknowledge the lesson of Xavier he brushed the shards of rock from his shoulders. He looked to the opening where Xavier stood and then looked back to his Sire. His fear fading but still present in the presence of the powerful Gangrel.

Barton felt the shard of rock in his hand and slowly curled his slender rough fingers around it. He clinched it tightly and felt its weight as he moved his hand to his chest. This was the piece he would keep, a reminder of the words spoken by Xavier. Barton clenched the shard tighter. It rested over his heart and he looked down and over to Xavier as he grew closer to the fire.

"I will keep this.... As a reminder of your words, wiser'n the old hootin' owl, you are sir."


Barton shied back a few steps as he saw the flames and Xavier seemingly unaffected by them. Barton had never feared fire but now the sight of it caused him great un-ease. Barton took a step forward then two steps back and replied....

"Xavier, do not get so close..... I mean it is fire, but...."


Barton did not move any further and looked to the ground avoid the direct sight of the raging fire. He wanted it put out, which was a strange sensation for him.

Xavier didn't moved, stayed in front of the flames just looking at them in awe. waiting...

For Barton the experience was really unsettling he had heard about how irrational can be fear sometimes, some people even fear things that are known to be harmless, 'shrinks' even have a fancy word for it, they call it Phobia. Something new to Barton, a fire-phobia of some sort.

Barton did not get a response from Xavier, he took a few more steps forward lowering his hand that held the shard from his chest. Barton approached Xavier each step starting small and growing bigger. Barton felt he was not being addressed due to his irrational new found fear of fire. Barton inched closer, each step was growing more and more painful as he moved closer to the flame. Barton clenched the shard tighter as he slowly lifted his eyes to the flame.

"Resolute.... That means to be sure of something right? Or strong, something like... That?"


Barton bit his lower lip and took one more large step toward the raging fire. He started feeling the heat, as he drew closer. The flames were not welcoming, with each crackle from the fire growing louder his new found phobia took root.

"Xavier...."


Barton shut his eyes and took one more step.

Barton was still frightened but found his resolution and made it through the test. Barton showed decent promise after all as he still clenched the shard of rock in his hand. He shivered slightly and sat beside Xavier, slightly shivering being so close. His skin felt as if it was almost going to burst into flames. Barton still did not like this feeling he felt, but he closed his eyes and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Barton did not look directly into the fire at first....

"The future? I'm looking forward to it... Though.... I will look with both eyes opened...."


Barton looked to the fire and cringed slightly and voided his gaze once more and cupped his hands together still clutching the shard of rock. His hands pressed against his lips and listened. It was all he could do to keep himself from running, the flames threatened him.

"What would you talk with me about Sir?"

Barton shivered slightly as the flames flickered fiercely, the flames and words causing him great unease. Xavier was going to leave him? When he knew nothing of what life was like as a Kindred? Barton was a survivor however and had been on the run many years before meeting Xavier. But as strong as he was the words of Xavier hit him like a ton of bricks and the hand which held the shard of rock grew lax. Barton felt alone, now in this new world he had to find his place once more. He began to wonder if he would ever belong or would he just be a rambler, something of a nomad. Just a face in a dark bar, easily overlooked and forgotten. A one way ticket. The number thirteen among the even numbers. This was Barton's destiny and he had always been alone or felt alone. His woman was something else, no longer was she Amanda. His family was dead to him. His friends either dead or moved on to great things.

Barton thought to himself, "You've been here before boy. Ain't nothin' different, but you got an edge this time. Use it... Be smart, can't fuck up now."

Barton looked to Xavier and replied,

"I have too many things to ask. Will I see you again? Where do I start? Also..... What are my chances, I like to know where I stand. Better than average? "

Barton grinned slightly in a kindly manner and slowly bowed his head in reverent silence to Xavier.

Spoiler:

Barton grasp the shard in his hand once more, tightening his grip.

"I'll do just that, Sir. I'll not let you down, Master."


Barton closed his eyes and shook his arms slowly by his side and looked up arching his back slightly. Barton then squatted down and narrowed his eyes slowly, looking to the ground then over to the direction of Xavier. Barton was already thinking about how to start and what to do. Barton had a decent background in survival, he knew major landmarks and roads- especially back wood trails. Though this would or could prove to be a challenge. Barton had taken note of the land around him earlier or the area in general. He knew there were wolves about and he made notes in his head about what to do.

Barton began to find his bearings and thought, though he looked over to the area Xavier was.

"Fair well my Childe, fair well..." he said while Barton started walking away

Barton first determined his direction, he felt along the wall as he backed up against the cold back of the cave. Barton began to feel around, the more moist the rock the chances are there was less of a breeze to dry the moisture. Barton began to feel along the sides of the wall. He also grew silent, stepping quietly as he tilted his head to the left. He also attempted to listen for sounds of the wind echoing off the caverns mouth. First was to get out of the cave. Then by reading the moss on the trees find North and get his coordinates. Then follow the river up stream or downstream, which ever had the most trails. Then Barton remembered he was not just reliant on his senses alone, but he had a gift. But he did not remember how to use it... Last time he remembered he was forced to look into the darkness...

He remembered closing his senses and focusing, actively searching the darkness. Barton looked to the darkest part of the cave and narrowed his eyes more, pretending to focus on the rock wall. He was still fighting off the effect of his eyes adjusting having left the fire that burned. Barton squinted harder and moved his hand from the wall and stooped forward hunching over.

He pictured the wall in front of him, though it was not visible. Gradually the darkness lightened up until a dim flicker of red flashed over his vision then vanished. Barton closed his eyes tightly then opened them once more. Shaking his head for a moment he then returned to that same focus for a minute or so.. That flicker of red came about once more and he narrowed his eyes even more. Gradually the red flicker, gleamed brighter.. The floor and its features lit up, the cracks in the stone becoming more apparent, the water lines along the wall shimmering brightly.

This was what he had seen before, Barton concentrated even more as he hunched over further still feeling of the cavern walls. Barton had formulated a plan as a survivalist human would, only this time... He could see, through a crimson veil. Barton reminded himself of where he was, the warnings and words of Xavier still clear. He knew that he was not alone. He would move carefully and think, his soul and his mind working as one. It was not easy walking into the wild, but this was now his life.

He would find his way out, search for signs of trails- fresh trails. He would take note of the woods and the stream. The smell, the taste, the touch, the sites. He would combine them. Barton also thought of how to move, avoiding branches, dead leaves, brush that would show motion and he would keep to the shadows.

Spoiler:

Barton then saw all black, nothing was distinguishable anymore. The sounds of the night flooded his senses, for a moment... There was panic! Barton whipped around and stepped back a moment as he looked around, squinting his eyes more. Barton no longer felt the beast within him, as the crimson veil lowered. A shard of his humanity boiled up from inside of him. He slowly crouched down and grasp the shard of rock tighter, tighter than he had earlier. Barton closed his eyes and moved the back of his hands to his ears. Barton concentrated once more, his humanity had clearly over came his newly acquired feral senses.

Barton thought to himself, "You are thinking too hard..... Don't let it... It can't get to you... Relax.."

Barton's hands slowly lowered and his eyes opened. Barton then looked up methodically, he took in the sounds.... The bats, the wildlife in the distance, the echoes of the branches being caressed by the cold wind. For a moment, he grew nervous as he now paid more attention to the sounds and feel of the wilderness around him. Barton did not focus on where to go, what to look for but what to feel. He attempted to make sense of all the noises within the area.

The caws of the crows and hooting owl. The brush shaking softly, as smaller wildlife scurried away. Barton sat there taking it all in, pausing. He had done what needed to be done but some how forgot the balance needed between that of man and beast. Barton struggled, hell he had struggled ever since he last spoke with Xavier. Barton heard sounds he had never heard, almost as if the darkness spoke to him.

Barton finally relaxed and sank down to the ground, squatting. He simply listened, things were going fine until he started to think. Barton was getting use to the darkness, even accepting it. Yet he dared not move, he simply tried to get acquired to this strange land once so familiar to him.