[flashback-Star] The aftermath of Astor

The night didn't bring with it much comfort. After leaving the Bronx Zoo, Star's mind was conflicted about her rejection from the Gangrel Elder and worry for her Father's safety. As well as her own.
Astor offering her a place to hide was extremely distasteful to the young Ventrue, it was insulting on her pride as a Ventrue Knight and Warrior to think that she was so WEAK.

The whole conversion with the Elder drove a railroad spike of annoyance, and suspension into the young kindred's mind. Astor had used her, though this wasn't surprising. The *old-bats often use the young as pawns. But something in the way that Astor just washed his paws of her was disconcerting.
(*Old-Bat: sabat term for elders)

"Was he doing this in hopes that I will be destroyed and not be a distraction for Brian??? So he could control him fully? Or was I just a tool so Astor could control him through me And when I became "broken" he just tossed me aside… Are the Gangrels really so petty? FUCK I HATE HIM? HOW DARE HE FUCK WITH ME LIFE! ITS HIS FUCKING FAULT! HE STOLE ME DAD!!"

Star gritted her teeth in anger and clichéd the steering wheel of her truck to the point of almost bending the metal.

"No… This is bullshit…Calm down. You are not human. You are a monster Star. Monsters do what monsters do. Your life is so much better now. But if I was a werewolf.. And Dad was a werewolf.. That means we were never human... And Astor just fucking took what he wanted! 
Oh my god that fucking bastard! That BEAST-ARD!! AHHHH!!" 


Fuck I'm so god damn greatful I'm not a gangrel under that creature's rule. Ventrue has their issues but I like them a whole lot better.  "

Star paused
"Is… Is that the blood talking or is it me?... How much of who I was is actually left?.. UGH I guess enough for a werewolf to pick up that I'm a black spiral. 
God! I need to figure out just what they are.
I'm gona fuck'n get destroyed anyway. So fuck  me! what I got to lose! God I'm so fucking angry I could just fucking kill something!"

Star was at a red light on her way back to Manhattan, she stared at the light longer than she should, and when it turned green she didn't react fast enough causing the cars behind her to beep and zoom past her flicking her middle finger until she eventually started moving the truck again.

"Was I really meant to be a werewolf? God.. what would have that been like? To actually change my shape into a monster. Full of strength and power? To run free under the moonlight, to hunt and kill as a beast. Hummm.."

Star looked up to view the moon hanging in the night sky almost longing for that chance.

"What the hell is a Black Spiral Dancer anyway? Black Wolves who dance ? … No that's silly. It has to be some kind of clan name. Like Ventrue or Gangrel.. This is my lineage. I need to figure this out. "

Star started to think about the werewolf she fought that night at the chess club.

"Was he a Black Spiral Dancer?"
She thought about him, but changing her views. She didn't think of werewolves as just animals anymore, but that they could actually be like people.
"Astor said my cousin? Did those monsters really recognize me as a Black Spiral? Will he come for me?
Will he simply kill me?
No.. He could have just done that there. What the fuck does he want with me?? What could a Black Spiral werewolf want with a vampire? Hummm…


OK Astor. You want to wash your fucking claws of me, thinking i'll just die. Fine! Fuck you.
I'll survive.  I swear to whatever god that will listen to me! I'll survive! I am not a fucking weak rabbit! I will not be cowardly and hide. I will survive as the moon and stars as my witness!.
Fuck you bruh!


Star pulled into the Ivory Towers underground parking

"Astor said I have a spirit of pain attached to me… I think I need a second  opinion. But who would know about such things?...
The Trenere? Maybe…
I could ask Strauss, he seemed kinda cool with me. Maybe he could help me down this rabbit hole. But 1st I need to talk with David in case the worst happened and I just fucking end up getting dusted. "

I am not going to sit back like a fucking little birtch and wait for final death!


At this point Star gets out of the truck, she picks up the phone and makes 3 phone texts.

the 1 she texts Phillip to see if he would want to spend some time to chill. Star is seeking comfort from her boyfriend.

The 2nd text is to David. She was nervous about this text. She knew he had a lot already on his plate and didn't need to worry about his child getting fucked by werewolves. But he was her sire, and she needed advice. Though she didn't know just how to lay this all at his feet.

The 3ed text was to the Union member Stratus. She asked to meet with him when he had time.