Freightening Slumber and Awakening (Star)

Star had plenty of time to reflect on the mistakes she made and the horrors she faced in that nightmare of a experience in Central Park.
She was lucky... Damn Lucky and she knew it.
Still the horrors of what "might have been" would haunt her for nights to come.


▂▂▂▂▂ WILLPOWER•(DIF7) ▂▂▂▂▂
Star carried out 6 launched of one (Roll.) :

8 , 3 , 1 , 10 , 2 , 6

Star sits up In bed, holding her head.
<..... Nightmares... dreams... Flashbacks.... Werewolves... Monsters... Vampires... Fucking Santa???
I'm losing my fucking mind...  >
Star thought to herself as she rubbed her eyes and noticed how early in the eve it was...

Star gave a sigh and got up to go to the bathroom to get cleaned up and make herself presentable again.
Taking time to wash all the remaining dirt and leaves from herself from her experience last night.
A experience she would not make the same mistake of making again.

While she was getting dressed she thought about wanting to nuke the fuck out of the park, and came up with a whole bunch of clever plans on how she could go about doing it. Though after a few good moments her Ventrue reason set in and realized it wasn't worth it, and it would be hardly profitable in the long run. Inevitably it would only be costing the city money in the long run to try to salvage New York's landmarks and tourist attractions.
So she quickly dismissed those ideas in favor of something more beneficial to herself.... Her business.

Star gave some a serious thought as to debating what she wanted in the long run. She had a opportunity now not to just live night by night like she was used too.

Star had plans of converting her soon-to-be acquired property into profitable business both legal and illegal. She thought strongly about converting the 1st floor of the building into a Pool Hall to attracted legal business and give patrons of place to relax and entertain themselves as they frequent the other businesses on the Block. That way she would not be leeching off the type of business and various strip clubs, brothel houses or bars that may find her encroaching on their territory. All the while turning a good profit and adding to the urban environment.

Secondly she had an idea to convert the basement level of the Bank building into a makeshift fighting arena that she would host Gatherings a few nights during the month in order to sell drugs, work out her stress and to turn a nice profit. Truly the more Ventrue way of doing things.

Star also had ideas to convert the main bank vault into a  Haven and safe room concealing it from the rest of the building. And turning the upstairs office into a small apartment or buisness office for herself.

All these thoughts ran through her mind as she pushed out the horrors of the night before and tryed to focus on being productive.

After she cleaned up, she got dressed in one of the outfits she had before, stashed away in her duffle bag, hopping it wasn't too wrinkled.



Star realize that she didn't have a lot of clothing or options of things to wear and she would need to be going shopping very soon, as well as rent a 24hr storage room to keep some of her stuff in And possibly live out of for the time being.

Star racked her brain thinking about tactical survival steps needed to take to survive in a urban jungle, when her mind snapped back and reminded her that David wanted to speak with her when she awoke.

<.. Fucking Peachy.......>

Star knew she was going to get yelled at for being reckless, so she mentally prepared herself for the beating she was going to get from her Sire as she made her way back out into the main room and grab led her cell phone to call David to tell him she was awake and ready .

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"Of course Sire... "
She said with very little emotions to her voice.

Star hung up and made herself ready to leave a moment later.

Star left the room , taking her keycard with her. She locked her room and headed property to the elevator and made her way to meet her sire.

Star followed protocol an her way up, and was polite to those that she met on the way.

Upon seeing her reflection in the mirror, her eyes narrowed at her reflected Beast. In Star's eyes she held some disdain for it and  lowered her head as she thought that she would have to remember to continuously wear a hoodie when she was in public, regardless of the non flinching expressions The Mortals around her seem to have.
To Star her reflection was an ever-present reminder that she was a monster.

She entered the room quietly announcing herself and took a seat as David had requested. She was silent and respectful, giving her Sire her full attention.

Star listened to her Sire in silence, she knew that behind that smile of his he was actually quite concerned for her well being, just as any Sire should be for their children.

Star didn't want to look at David, but of course she did so out of respect. Though she knew she didn't have a "good" answer for him, or even a answer she thought that he could possibly understand.

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"Im not suicidal... If that's what you are getting at.  Though I know my actions seem to tell you other wise. "
She said a little bluntly.
"... And as far as my reasons for going there.... I was looking for something.
Something I didn't find.... Nor do I think I shall ever try to find again from that place.

If I was not a Ventrue I would probably make it my life's work to see that place turned into a toxic field of dead trees, burnt rubble and scorched glass!....
But in honesty.... That's hardly profitable .... And would cost the City too much Revenue to rebuild the historical landmarks in the long run. Completely not worth it... So what ever the fuck is there can stay there. ...
Star pauses and looks at David as she searches for the right words to explain herself.

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" I can't quite put into words what I was after.... It wasn't a "thing"... But more of a feeling, a release... A experience... No one word or simple explanation can do it justice
But I learned that the things I seek I must make come to me, not the other way around. Like a spider laying a web to catch a fly. Nothing seems the same as it was before...

All in all... Yes I realize I was very foolish, as well as i was very lucky. I can't say that I won't make similar mistakes in my judgment along the way as I go through my nights... IM far from perfect. And I'm a bit reckless... This much is true..

All I can do is learn from my folly... I walked away from that experance with a lesson more valuable than what I was originally seeking. A lesson I will not soon forget, and that I must adapt to my existence.

 
Star said finally finishing and waited quietly for David to respond

Star felt the powerful force of the elder's will.
She did exactly as her sire commanded.

What was your reason to enter in Central Park? What were you looking for?"

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" I was looking for a way to release my pent up anger... My rage.... I was for a fight....

But more than that....

I wanted to find some lowlife to beat into a bloody pulp... to see fear in his eyes... to feel his bones crack under my knuckles..... and smell the air fill with the smell of his blood ...  "
Star said a bit sadistically.

"  i wasnt planing on killing anyone... Thats why i choose to go there the way I did..

I was playing the part of prey.. I didn't care much if I got injured... Broken bones for me is nothing new... Pain is just a common reminded that i'm are still.... Alive... Or whatever i am now...
"
Star said looking down at her feet.

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" At 4 in the morning I thought Central Park would have been a great secluded place where I would have to worry much about breaching  the Masquerade and dealing with Cops Or security.

But like I said... I never found what I was looking for.. .. I found something..... Else."

Star looked at David sympathetically.
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" Sire.... It not your fault.. Its just something I need to learn how to handle..

I hold on to anger... I bottle my rage for later use... But sometimes.... Its just too much.
I am not one who is quick to anger... its always been a slow burn... Even when dealing with my beast...
But .... "
Star paused....
"Ever sence my .... "Embrace"...
Star said chocking on the word "embrace"... Star never liked that word, and never believed that its true meaning had anything to do with her "recruitment" of Shovel Night. To her a "Embrace" was supposed to be a gift, a honor to be among the undead..... Not a nightmare that she endured and to be cast aside.

She continued...
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"Ever sense that night... Nothing in my existence has felt quite right. The anger and rage I feel in my heart...it.. It can not be sated....Not really...  Its just building.. ..  I have tryed many times to release it. .. I have been trying to teach myself to direct it...

Two nights ago at the Chess Club incident... I felt my anger... My rage... My brutality peek in that horror...
.. It was libirating ...

.... But costly... The pain I felt in that battle was unimaginable... It haunts me dreams every day.... But pain is a great teacher ... And for me It makes me feel alive... So it was a small price for a good lesson."
Star said honestly...

Star looked down at her feet for a long moment before speaking again. She looked up at her sire..
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"Sire... I have given this so thought though in recently... I... Um.. I Want to utilize the basement of that property I'm acquiring to conduct a fight club of sorts... "

Deleted text:

You shall not change the subject. We have much to talk about."

Star looked away from her sire, she really didn't want to have this conversation.
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" yes sir... "
She said softly

I care not about what happened. Just that you're ok and I want to know what's in you, that caused that incident and that will cause it again in the future.

Star didn't have a answer for her Sire about this, she wasn't even sure she knew what it was the drove her to take such a risk. Maybe she was just foolish and young.

We will not longer discuss your past, except to learn who we are in the present and forsee what might happend in the future. Understood?"

This was very very hard for Star, she honestly didn't know if she could do this.
She looked away from David for a moment  and sighed softly.
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"... I understand "
She said looking back at David again.
Star remained silent not knowing what to say about this anymore.

"I will arrange an sparring between Bruno and you at the Chess Club. There you'll find all the pain you want and get to know him, make him trust you. Accomplish that and I'll spare you from your mistake, fail and you'll lose the Dignitas you've worked for so far. End of discussion.

Star's eyes narrowed at her Sire as he spoke. Anger started to rise in her but she kept her tongue silent.
<.... Seriously?!... You missed what I desire completely.... I sware to fucking god I need to stop coming to anyone with my problems. .>
Star just looked at David, she knew he thought he was helping... But he was not. He clearly misunderstood her, but she knew better than to argue at this point, so she said nothing.


The news of Myriam Shield Diablerizing people didn't seem to phaze Star one bit. After all the practice of diablery  was common in the sabbat. She had even had to experance it herself.

Instead Star wonders how powerful the woman had grown and wonders if she gained any new abilities or knowledge. Though Star was not foolish enough to mention this. she simply showed no emotion whatsoever ever towards this news, only being relived that the woman was free from the spiders holed.

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" Understood... I'm relived she is free now., I wish her well "

Star waited in silence to be dismissed

Star was indeed annoyed at everything but knew better than to speak up. She respected her Sire, and knew enough not to try to argue or question her elders.

If this punishment was ment to both punish her and help fulfill her Job in the Union there was little she could to not to do what was asked of her. Though it didn't make her any less angry about it.

It took her a moment before even getting the nerve to risk asking any questions.
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"How long to I have... Before this punishment is inacted Sire.?"
She asked meekly as she tryed to figure out how she was going to manage her scheduled. Star had a lot on her mind.

"How long to I have... Before this punishment is inacted Sire.?"

David narrowed his eyes and stooding seriously said.
"I'd have prefered to see it as a lesson but now that you expect the consequences for your actions to be punishment I might reconsider.

You'll be secluded in your room until you leave your teenage years.

You're dismissed. Stay there until summoned."

You'll be secluded in your room until you leave your teenage years.

Clearly this upset Star almost as much as the punishment, though she didn't dare be vocal about it. She was being "grounded" like a little kid and it really pissed her off.
This was just one more annoyance added to the sea anger she was already waiding through.

She sighed and simply nodded to David that she understood. She bid him a plight good bye as customary and returned to the room with out so much as another word.