Meeting balance with the Count (Star)

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Post  Malakiel on Mon Dec 17, 2018 10:39 pm

David was calmed, Star was measuring his expressions while reviewing the meeting in her head trying to decypher her Sire's thoughts and expecting some sort of chide from him but Hayworth had nothing of that in him.

He made a sign for Rebecca to wait a second and when enough time passed for the guests to be on their way and Auxpex wouldn't be eavesdropping he said.
"Let me give you my feedback before I hear your opinion on the meeting. Afterall I am the only one who have not spoken yet." he smiled.

"This group lacks coherence, each one of them is revaluating their individual positions in the team to be form under your leadership. Even more they even doubt you're going to be their leader at all, at least in the long run. That's the direct consequence of Brick's demotion.

Now they wonder, would that happend again?... even more they asked themselves how the newest vampire in the city is worthy of leading them at all? They'll test your limits, your inner strength and your ability to guide them in order to answer those particular questions.

In this meeting you showed resillience and patience but they're judging you harshly, looking for the down side of everything you're saying because they are expecting the worse from the unknown, you're a mystery to them and even worst they're also unknown to you.

I'll point out some mistakes you've made but first I'd like to hear your evaluation."

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Post  Star on Mon Dec 17, 2018 11:25 pm

Star was expecting a harsh scolding from the Count, and was surprised by his calm demeanor.
She stood at attention and listened to his words very carfuly, and was thoughtful before answering.

I'll point out some mistakes you've made but first I'd like to hear your evaluation
Star wanted to choose a couple choice words to say about the experience, but she refrained.

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"I...um.. I feel like I'm herding cats Sire. "
She said rubbing her eyes.
"Its not a totally impossible  task... But only a semi-imposible one...

I knew this was going to be a up hill battle from the start...  but I  lost my footing when HellSong started acting like a rabbit dog guarding a bone.

Everyone seems to god damn hypersensitive! Looking for any excuse to chastise me! I feel like I'm back in fucking highschool.  Luckily I have the patience of a saint and enough discipline not to succumb to my emotions, partly thanks to your teachings my Sire.

I'm not what they expected and I'm pretty sure I'm not what they wanted.

These are not the type of people I was expecting to deal with, but that's my fault. Im not completlly confiden I can fulfill what you are asking of me.
But I have never backed down from a hard challenge, and I'm not about to start now. I just need to take a step back how are you evaluate things.
When you get knocked down, you pick yourself back up and carry on.

Its hard to get a clear perspective when I'm rolled up. And I'm pretty sure HellSong did that on fucking purpose, 'cuz his disruption was completely out of character for him.... So ether it was on purpose for sabatage reasons or other ones OR he is seriously facing some kind of residual trauma from the battle at the chess club. Ether way my views on my father are rapidly changing .

Star ran her hand through her hair, clearly still full of tension.

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Post  Malakiel on Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:27 am

Ether way my views on my father are rapidly changing
Hayworth laughts and says.
"Isn't that what daughters do when they fight with their parents?" then with a more serious tone he said.

"You're not being objective, mingling work with your relationship with him. Continue down that path and you'll end up without any."

David said again calmly and slowly.
"Hell Song was giving you a message, which I don't know because I don't know him and I'm not an acquaintance of Clan Gangrel to that extent. However, it was clear he was trying to say something without words.

That message entangled with the Salvatrucha issue, I think of it as a different topic from the hidden message. You were pretencious when you implied you had a word to say over them and it is a sensitive topic between the Ventrue and the Gangrel, it is the only gang outside the control of the Union and for a good reason. Be careful, you could start a war just by making a suggestion."


He made a pause.
"Among some of the mistakes you made is the lack of presentation. You assumed the information in the briefing was enough or even accurate at all. You should have presented yourself and let others do the same, speak about themself, let them adjust and create a bound with you.

Also you don't moderate the conversation at all and you dialogue alot with the verbal members of the team, instead of giving everyone a chance to explain and participate in the conversation. You must avoid at all times the bilateral conversations and speak to the team at all times, making sure everyone is giving his or her opinion.

Finally, you'll lose any comfrontation with Bruno or Brian, they have a stronger demeanor and have enough resources to crush you in a direct skirmish. You need to evaluate your strategies, you need to adapt more and stop processing this in a highschool level. I can assure you, none of them is."

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Post  Star on Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:06 am

Isn't that what daughters do when they fight with their parents?"
David was correct, but Star was visibly annoyed.
Star loved her father and she hated arguing with him.

Hell Song was giving you a message, //
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" yeah the fucking message was stay the fuck out of Gangrel affairs. I got it.
His demonstration on a fucking mute point...
I HAD NO FUCKING INTENTION IN DEALING WITH THE FUCKING SALVATRUCHA ISSUES! Not now or anytime soon!
His overly sensitive outburst  was still uncalled for! And Regardless of his fucking pride or what ever bullshit..  HellSong's behavior is unproductive and unprofessional.  His behavior was deliberately done to sway the room and cause  anxiety and conflict. ITS BAD enough i have get that shit from Bruno. And I don't fucking need that sh!t. "

Star was indeed heated, and had to turn away from her Sire in order to compose herself.

After a moment..
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"My apology for my words Sire, it was disrespectful of me to loose my composer. "
I should not vent to you. ..Forgive me Count Hayworth

Star said formally.

You should have presented yourself and let others do the same, speak about themself, let them adjust and create a bound with you.
Star believed that she did do this, she gave the room plenty of time to speak freely and asked on mulipul occasions to get the thoughts and introductions from the group. It seemed that only Bruno and Stratus took the time to do so. Still Star didn't want to argue this point with her Sire, she just looked at him puzzled.

Also you don't moderate the conversation at all and you dialogue alot with the verbal members of the team, instead of giving everyone a chance to explain and participate in the conversation.
Star didn't understand this, in her point of view she did, still the Point was not worth the argument.

▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" I don't truly know what I was expecting from these people. Obviously it was not what I got.

And it has left me questioning my abilities greatly."

Star already greatly had self esteem issues, and that's leading had left her questioning her own confidence

Finally, you'll lose any comfrontation with Bruno or Brian, // You need to evaluate your strategies, you need to adapt more and stop processing this in a highschool level. ."
Star's eyes narrowed
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"yeah..  Fine.. But you tell me why a lot of them seem like overly sensitive tender snowflakes than!  This ain't highschool I get that, but shit those folks seem extramly uptight and are looking for any destruction to keep them from progressing forward. It seemed when I attempted to provide a relaxed environment and through a lot of formalities out the window in favor of this only one or two people complied.


I get that I'm not a really easily likable person, I tend to piss people off more than making friends, I'm uptight and find it  extremely hard to relax oh, hell I haven't been able to relax since I first became a vampire!  but fuck!  they lose their shit over phrasing and fucking words ...  So I got to fucking walk on egg shells or risk damaging their fucking ego... seriously ? And they ain't acting like being in highschool... OK then "

Star's words held a sarcastic tone and was still on edge and anoyed

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Post  Malakiel on Tue Dec 18, 2018 2:54 pm

Hayworth smiled and said.
"My dear, this is not about you, you feel better without them but formalities exist for a reason and it is in part to protect everyone. Wronging someone might plant a spliter of hate in that person's mind, it is better to keep the formalities than be sorry about the consequences.

During the Agoge you'd have been taught about the importance of this but Lord Hart took that lesson from you. Something that you must address as soon as possible to avoid unwanted consequences. The way you treated Caesar would have been enough to be curse by any Malkavian present."


He made a short pause and continued with an even softer tone in his voice, like a grand parent advicing one of his spawns.
"Kindreds have a monstrous beast within, they're easy move to anger and fear. This is a constant but even mortals tend to be upset by the slightless sign of disrespect, real or perceived.

Right now you struggle to keep your composture and each kindred is always struggling against that feeling. Be aware that those mistake can result to be lethal most of the times."

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Post  Star on Tue Dec 18, 2018 4:25 pm

// but formalities exist for a reason // keep the formalities
Star eventually gave a nod to this.

During the Agoge you'd have been taught about the importance of this but Lord Hart took that lesson from you. Something that you must address as soon as possible to avoid unwanted consequences.
Star looked oddly at David, so much it seems has always been taken from her. Though she understands his point

The way you treated Caesar would have been enough to be curse by any Malkavian present."
<... Are you fucking serious??..>
Star didn't think anything she said was  offencive, after all while she was in the Sabbat they talked to each other like that all the time, and referring to someone as their clan was never offensive.
David could see she was confused by this, which was understandable due to her short time being a member of the Camarilla.

It was true that Star didn't care for the clan of lunatics, too many people she trusted had warned her about them, and the ones she knew of in the sabbat were complete sociopathic serial killers.
This colored her view negatively towards the clan as a whole. Just like her views of the Ventrue were colored poorly until she meet Lord Valentine and Count Hayworth.

Star just shook her head in disbelief, and thought that maybe her prejudice of the Malkavians was showing through her words as she paused and though more strongly about what she had said


▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" I dont understand fully... But... I will correct my behavior..."
Star said finally, though still confused...


As David's voice softened, so did some of Star's anger and anxiety. Though she was still having problems with stress.

Kindreds have a monstrous beast within, they're easy move to anger and fear. This is a constant but even mortals tend to be upset by the slightless sign of disrespect, real or perceived.
Star nodded silently, seeing the truth in her Sire's words.

Right now you struggle to keep your composture and each kindred is always struggling against that feeling. Be aware that those mistake can result to be lethal most of the times."
Star nods again..
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" I .. Um.. Guess I forgot that Kindred are all monsters pretending to play the role of humans. No matter how "human" we paint ourselves up to be.... We are not.

I...um.. This.. Is still a concept I'm fighting with still... "

Star finally admits the thing all young kindred have to go through, realizing they are not human Anymore.

Star pasued and looked dejected, her gaze looked to the floor as she thought about what to say next.
Finally after a moment Star raised her head and looked at her Sire.
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" I need guidance Sire. I feel lost.
I'm not quite sure how to proceeded.

I know I need to remove my personal feeling from my job, and look at things more objectively. I'm not really good at trying to see things from other peoples perspectives... "

She admitted
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" Something that offends someone would probably not offend me. I have rather thick skin...  so to speak. I don't find words offencive ... I find actions. I have been called every derogatory name in the book, and I find it amusing. I personally can't stand those that are overly sensitive.

I'm not exactly the most elegant speaker, I even struggle within our own clan. But I make the best attempt I can.

But regardless of my own struggles and shortcomings... I need your guidance Sire.
What can I do to proceed forward and become the leader these people need? How can I fulfill their expectations? And fix the mess I have already made? "

Star's words were pleading, she really wanted to succeed in her job with the Union but wasn't completly confidend in how she should do it

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Post  Malakiel on Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:56 pm

What can I do to proceed forward and become the leader these people need? How can I fulfill their expectations? And fix the mess I have already made? "
The Count seemed surprised by Star's assestment.
"Mess? What mess? This was just a meeting, not a good one I agree but yet just that."

He smiled and with a soft tone of voice said.
"My Dear we all have our ups and downs. Now you know more about them and they know a little more about you. All of them will effort to make this work."

Then he took a more severe demeanor to explain.
"You must learn from your mistakes, to do so you need to identify them first, understand them is the second stage and finally do not repeat them.

They're not you, everyone out there is a different person and that means that person processes things differently. You don't care about words, may be one of them doesn't care about actions.

You're not together because you're similar but because you share an objective: controlling the Gangs to prevent anyone from doing so, specially the Sabbat."


He made a pause, a long one letting Star to dive in his advices, all the words he said during this conversation.

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Post  Star on Tue Dec 18, 2018 9:22 pm

Mess? What mess? This was just a meeting, not a good one I agree but yet just that.
Star seemed surprised to hear this, though she still kinda thought she made a mess of things.

My Dear we all have our ups and downs// You must learn from your mistakes// identify them // understand them // and finally do not repeat them.
Star gave a slow nod, knowing this to be all too true.

You don't care about words, may be one of them doesn't care about actions.
Star thought this was petty,  and usualy hated people like this. but she didn't say any comment about it, rather choosing to keep her thoughts to herself.

You're not together because you're similar but because you share an objective: controlling the Gangs to prevent anyone from doing so, specially the Sabbat."
Star was quiet, and thought about this finally after a moment giving a nod of understanding.
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
" I see... This is our true goal and should be the major incentive for all our actions.  "

I will keep this in mind as my soul focus. Its Paramount that no matter what the Union does, this has to be our major goal.

Now trying to figure out how to do this is the real trouble we face. Find a way to accomplish this using every members talents productivity.

I think I might need to to more research on our members And think about how the new information given to me this night about our objectives.

Sire, can I request a copy of the dossier that you showed me of each member. I want to go over that information more in depth.

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Post  Malakiel on Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:27 am

I think I might need to to more research on our members And think about how the new information given to me this night about our objectives.
Hayworth nods affirmative.

Sire, can I request a copy of the dossier that you showed me of each member. I want to go over that information more in depth.
He rises an eyebrow and says sharply
"Those files won't give you anything more. Interact with your team and research at first hand what make each of them tick in order to achieve your goals.

Once you have done that we will sit and update the files with the information you'll find."


He mades a pause.
"You have to get on the horse again dear Rebecca, these monsters are your monsters now. Be wise and learn how to control them with invisible chain made out of the sound of a cat's step, the beard of a woman, the roots of a mountain, bear's sensibility, fish's breath, and bird's spittle. A chain they cannot break."

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Post  Star on Wed Dec 19, 2018 11:43 am

//Interact with your team and research at first hand what make each of them tick in order to achieve your goals.
<...peachy...that's just a nice way of saying I have to make friends...>
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"... Understood... "

…You have to get on the horse again dear Rebecca, these monsters are your monsters now. Be wise and learn how to control them with invisible chain made out of the sound of a cat's step, the beard of a woman, the roots of a mountain, bear's sensibility, fish's breath, and bird's spittle. A chain they cannot break."
Star gave David a odd look
<...God damn it, now you are being cryptic... >
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"...... "
Star continued to think silently on this...
After a moment she looked at her sire
▂▂▂▂▂▂STAR▂▂▂▂▂▂
"not sure if I get your meaning.. But it has to do with subtlety and manipulation I believe.
Knowing my teams strengths and weaknesses and exploiting them to get them moving in the right direction. And the only way to do this is to get to know them.  "

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